The flying beat

"Set me free

why don't you, babe

Get out of my life

why don't you, babe"

(Song: "You keep me hanging on")

You were nested inside my chest for as long as your instincts held you there. Then, suddenly, you flap your wings silently and declare you're no longer my captive. Off you went, frolicking around the neighbourhood, until someday you found a shiny thing in the water which made you swerve and dive down towards it.

It was a fish. But alas for you, since you never knew what it meant to feel hungry - being so used to be fed or at least offered food whenever -, you couldn't tell whether it was the kind you liked or not. Nevertheless, you bonded with its owner and days went by carrying that scent of friendship in the air. You were captivated by him. What good was that for you? You were hungry and that man wouldn't allow you to feed on that fish, nor would he forbid you. One day you wake up, they both move into somewhere else and your hunger is only sated by memories of what might have been.

You're still young, you thought, and after a while you go on a flight of two days to a land down under. You think you died and went to Heaven. It was all flawless. You make it your home for more than a couple of years but being the nonchalant artist you are, you leave off with a bang, telling yourself you are indeed too young to be settled forever in Heaven. You were actually scared witless.

On your way back, you find a lighthouse and your food now come in pairs. They're laid down for you nicely, but one half is always more appealing. Despite the great hospitality, you'd hate to see food rot and go to waste. You know you cannot live there, you can't bite the hands feeding you. Thus, you only return when summoned.

You stop for a moment to watch those who are like you. When you fail to provide for yourself, you become a rogue, or a scavenger. Either way you are never fully pleased, but you survive. Seasons went by you and you kept a secret from your friends. You were hungry again, all along, from the minute you saw him. But he was too hot and cold, you thought. What if you go veering down at full speed and something foils yet another attempt, yet another hope?

So you see the house become empty and the owner becomes more alluring. It's even more seductive than a fish, and seemingly warmer than any lighthouse. Your hunger is translated into feeble attractions no more, and the light doesn't come from the home, but from his core. It does shine through his clear brown eyes and his timid smile. Plus, you rejoice on the sound of his laughter. You made up your mind: if the opportunity presents itself, you will tell him your secret.

And so it did. You told him, you tried. You still seem to be welcomed there, though. Once again, friendship prevails. Three times you let love run freely through the arteries. And I'm here writing this letter to you, which will be used to wrap up your daily fish and chips, to remind you of retreating before you go bending over backwards for someone else again. I've followed you time and time again, you bloody, stubborn, stupid thing. It won't be long now, love will come hunting you fiercer than before. But be more rational.